I admit it. I was once as grouchy equally Scrooge nearly the wintertime holidays. Even as my hubby and I assembled bikes for the kids in the wee hours of Christmas morning time (and yes, we were inevitably a few bolts short), I fretted over whether we were conveying the true spirit of the flavour or just training superconsumers. I dreaded the almanac shopping and eating free-for-all that left the states thinner in the wallet, fatter in the thighs, and wearied from all the effort. By the time New year's day finally rolled around each year, I was a basket example. Where was the sacred aspect? I wondered.

Of course, I wasn't alone in my frazzled state. The holidays can be incredibly stressful for everyone, especially when we're focused on the externals rather than the truthful significant of the holy days and their promise of peace and renewal.

Over the years, my extended and blended Jewish/Christian family has gradually made the holidays more meaningful. We still give presents to the children, but we quit exchanging gifts among adults. Instead, each of the states chooses a charity and gives coin in the names of family and friends. I wish that I'd wised up sooner.

More From Prevention

preview for Prevention Watch Next

When my ii boys were small, I would have had them make 2 Christmas/Hanukkah lists: one noting things they wanted for themselves, the other of things they wanted to give to less-fortunate children. It would have been a great time to go out the earth and remember virtually life in other cultures as we made plans to fulfill their charity wish list.But we did have some lively conversations and rituals that honored Judaism, Christianity, and the winter solstice. I remember how Hanukkah came alive ane year after nosotros lit the menorah and said the prayers. We started talking about miracles. The Hanukkah miracle was that a single, small pot of oil burned for eight nights instead of just ane. But the true Hanukkah miracle, we decided after a surprisingly deep and touching conversation, is nigh a whole lot more than than oil. It'due south nigh remembering the mysterious forcefulness of grace that operates continuously in every life. Each of us talked well-nigh a time when grace touched us with help or healing. Modest kids are and then full of wonder and marvel that a simple invitation to reflect on their lives oft unleashes a torrent of excited stories, insights, and questions. This is the stuff that the all-time holiday memories are made of.

When Christmas came effectually that year, our discussions continued. What if the nascency of the Christ child was also about the nascency of love and newness in our ain lives? We'd merely moved to a different town that year, so we reflected on all the blessings that had entered our lives. That led to a great exchange about letting go of the old to brand room for the new.[pagebreak]All the December holidays commemorate light in some way. And whether y'all gloat Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the winter solstice, or all of the above, you can have the occasion to clean out the old and make room for the birth of the new within yous. It'south easy to talk about letting your own inner light shine, simply it'due south difficult to feel that light glowing if your life is crammed with mental or physical clutter. To that end, I exercise a simple ritual every year that does wonders for immigration my inner space: I clean off my desk. Don't laugh--information technology really works.

The process commonly takes 2 half days, so I put them on my calendar. On the first half day, I go through the dusty piles of neglected responsibilities, culling all the letters, faxes, manuscripts, videos, CDs, books, and east-mails that I know I'chiliad non going to get effectually to, despite my proficient intentions. The few items that are yet of import become into an immediate to-do pile. On the following half day of the Keen Desk-Immigration Ritual, I attack the pile with vigor. When it has been vanquished, I write notes to a handful of people who have fabricated a difference in my life during the year.

Finally, I call up virtually my personal vision for the time to come and distill it into a mission statement for the twelvemonth to come. I exit my desk make clean on New year's day's Eve, except for the mission statement. This yr, I'll finish the ritual by reading it to my fiancé, Gordie; my three closest buddies; my wonderful staff, Luzie and Kathleen; and the kids. Later on all, they're the ones who'll likely hold my feet to the fire so that I follow through and complete the tasks that my heart knows I was put here to accomplish.I recommend this ritual for its heart- and soul-clearing effects. Here are four boosted suggestions to transform your holidays into holy days.

Create a charity box. This is a spot where anybody in the family drops loose alter at the end of each day. At some point during the holidays--a perfect time would be when you exchange presents--decide what cause you lot'll donate the money to next December.

Have a political party with spiritual pizzazz. Invite 5 to 10 people and ask them to bring festive food and beverage. Requite each person a plow to speak without interruption about the lessons they've learned in the by year. Then take a few minutes to write downwardly old habits that each of you is ready to let get of, and fire the collected papers in a fireplace if you accept one, or in another safe place.

Give out love coupons. Create them by paw from colored paper, or even design them on the computer. They can be good for stories and trips to the zoo for kids; home-cooked, romantic candlelit dinners (or more amorous activities) for spouses; walks in special places with friends. Foot rubs, back rubs, concerts, chores...the possible delights are endless.

Have a retreat day 2 or iii weeks before the holidays. This means time alone to reverberate, walk in nature, do some spiritual reading or writing, and be silent. Information technology may seem crazy when there'due south so much to practise, but a centered, peaceful you lot is the best gift you lot can give to your family unit this--or any--vacation season.